A CUDDLY NEW PLUSH TOY
MARKS TRUMP’S SUCCESS
Forget the ongoing pointless and contrived Mueller investigation.
Forget the Democrats’ empty threats of impeachment.
Forget all that fake news and the incessant carping from your liberal friends and coworkers.
Forget Stormy Daniels.
Instead, be assured, my friends, that Donald Trump has truly established himself as President of the United States.
How do I know this?
Because American business — the ultimate reflector of public sentiment — has said it is so.
Presenting: Trumpy Bear, a cuddly teddy complete with blond comb-over and comfy American flag lap robe.